Edna Swart was only 14 years old when her mother, Sandra, tragically suffered a stroke thousands of feet up in the air, on a flight from NZ to see her family in South Africa.
Nobody on the aircraft, including Sandra, unfortunately, picked up that she had experienced a stroke. While Sandra told Edna's grandfather when she landed that she wasn't feeling well, she thought that sleeping it off was the best way forward.
After a few days of lying in bed, it dawned on Sandra that her symptoms were not getting better. A local doctor in South Africa ran a few tests and determined that she had, in fact, suffered a stroke.
Edna, who was scheduled to fly to South Africa two weeks after her mum, distinctly remembers walking into the local hospital and seeing her mother in bed.
"I couldn't recognise her anymore, she had been ignored by the hospital staff and was practically skin and bone, weighing a fraction of her regular weight at 39 kilograms, and had lost her speech, while also being paralysed."
Outraged at the negligence of the staff at the hospital in South Africa, Edna's dad decided to immediately relocate Sandra to New Zealand.
Back in New Zealand, Edna remembers that Sandra had to relearn everything from scratch - from walking, speaking and even swallowing.
During her first year in rehab, Sandra had to have a tracheostomy procedure on her neck to swallow food and carried a colostomy bag owing to her paralysis.
After about a year in rehab, Sandra could get rid of the tracheostomy tube and the colostomy bag, but she still had to be in a wheelchair constantly.
"The truth is, after that first time she left for South Africa, my mum never came home again. Her rehab took place in hospitals and retirement homes. As a young teenager, this was the hardest thing for me to reconcile," Edna says in a typically honest fashion.
"These things really affected me as a teenage girl. I resented that I couldn't just go have dinner outside, or shopping with my mum, or getting our nails done together, or anything normal that all my friends were enjoying", Edna laments.
About two years after the initial stroke, Sandra had started walking again, albeit with the use of a walker, was eating properly and her speech had also returned. Edna clearly remembers the letters her mum was able to write, as her fingers got back their dexterity again.
With Edna's loyal dad consumed by his wife's rehabilitation and wanting her to get all the support that she needed, Edna says he never missed a chance to visit Sandra, wherever she was, in the three years of rehab.
Having to sacrifice time with his children, however, had a profound effect on Edna and her two brothers.
"We ended up kind of having to fend for ourselves and have to grow up faster to become independent."
Edna connects this vacuum in her life to a rebellious phase she went through as a 15-year-old, where she took the drastic step of running away from home.
"Nobody was home, and I felt like nobody understood me, I just had an insurmountable rage against everything around me, I had to get away, and anywhere would do," says Edna reflectively.
"This is how stroke affects families and children, I believe. When a parent is suddenly missing you start looking for things that will fill the hole in your life."
By the time she was 17, however, Edna realised that no matter how badly she needed her mum, her mum needed her much, much more.
Unfortunately, this realisation came too late, as this was the final year of Sandra's life.
A combination of being a life-long diabetic, battles with depression and the effects of the stroke finally caught up with Sandra and deteriorated her health in a matter of a few months.
Around this time, Edna received a harrowing phone call from her dad. "I don't think Sandra wants to be here anymore, she says she's very tired," he said gravely.
Back at the care facility in New Plymouth where Sandra was staying, she suffered a cardiac arrest and was put on life support.
A devout Christian, Edna says that the decision to take his wife off life support was the toughest in her dad's life. On October 8, 2007, the machines were turned off, and Sandra Swart passed away at only 52 years of age.
"Would my mum's life have been better if the stroke were picked up earlier and she had received good support from the beginning? I think yes, almost definitely," says Edna.
Today, Edna's brothers are happily married with loving families, while Edna is also thrilled that her dad has also remarried a decade ago, after years of heartbreak.
Edna channelled her heartbreak into her career, getting a finance degree and working for years in banking, before starting her own swimwear and skincare labels, which have an immense following. Recently, Edna got married as well.
While Edna is slightly disappointed that she could not win $100,000 for our charity on the 2021 edition of Celebrity Treasure Island, she is still glad that she could raise $12,500 for the Stroke Foundation on the reality game show.
She is also keen to talk to children and teenagers in homes that have stroke survivors and tell more young people about her story and how they can cope effectively.
"A lot of the trauma, to be honest, has blacked out from my brain, and I haven't spoken about this stuff for years. But I want to talk about it now because it is normal, and thousands of families in New Zealand go through this every year," says Edna.
Why Do I Support Beanie Up?
I support the Beanie Up campaign as it helps raise funds for the Stroke Foundation's services. I believe in the quality of this service and its power to change the lives of stroke survivors and their families. Let’s all Beanie Up!
As part of Beanie Up, I am selling a specially designed beanie on my website, www.ednibod.com. All proceeds from the beanie sales will support the Stroke Foundation’s services.